I fear therefore I hate

Hate is the consequence of fear; we fear something before we hate it; a child who fears noises becomes a man who hates noise. ~ Cyril Connolly

Being IN the Tune of Two

Did you ever sing/clap the rhyme that started:

 "I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread!
He wrapped it up in a 5 lb bag and this is what he said said said!"
(There are multiple variations to the rest..)

Song rhymes were like a religion for me from the ages of 6-8, and mostly performed with my favorite clap-partner, and cousin, Laura.  We knew each other and we were in tune.  There were a couple other rhymes we would clap, but this one was definitely our favorite.  Whether we were on the bus, at lunch, or in the playground we were showing off our speed and precision to words which, really, were complete silliness.  And. we. LOVED it.

Tonight I found myself teaching my 5-year-old daughter Mallory the basics of the clap -- the repeated three hand positions.  The first parallel hand position is tricky, but she started getting it after a few minutes.  Before long she had all three so I threw in the rhyme!  As we got going, suddenly I relived the feeling that went along with clapping.. and I was giddy!  Once I started speeding up, even though Mallory couldn't keep up, we both ended up throwing our heads back and giggling.  So much fun.

As I sat afterward, I couldn't help but reflect on how similar relationships are to this childhood ritual of mine.   It's easy to see the comparison when you think of the dance that comes with a good partner.  Like clapping with Laura there is a THRILL in the moment of being in tune and connected.  Back in the day, it wasn't just the silliness of the song that made us smile, but the knowing each other; predicting each other.  It was in the challenge of pushing the pace, and testing our limits. We could accommodate to each other's weakness, and highlight our individual strength.   It was exhilarating to get going so fast that others would stop and watch.  We.Were.Good.   

How had we gotten so good?  Well, perhaps there was a compatibility factor in our disposition, skill, and personality.  I'm sure those things were key.  And then there was the obvious (but essential) willingness factor. If you don't want to clap, it ain't gonna happen!   But mostly, I have to believe, it's because we put the time and effort in.  When it came to clapping we knew each other.  And I follow the motto: anything worth doing, is worth doing right!   A fully-developed relationship is so much like that.   Yes indeed a certain amount of compatibility is important, and you definitely have to be willing and wanting.   But you also have to get through that awkward beginning -- when your claps aren't quite on target, even if well-intended.  You're clumsy.  Forgetful.  At moments, maybe frustrated and discouraged.   It takes time and effort to get to the point where it's seamless; when the dance becomes easy and natural.  You have to be patient, and merciful.  You have to be hopeful and trusting of the process.  You have to believe in the dance. But, before you know it, you find yourself singing a tad louder one day, because you sense your partner needs the lift.   You find yourselves challenging and encouraging each other to sing new songs and to push new limits.  You wake up and realize, you're in tune.  The rhyme and rhythm has become second nature. And the intimacy of being in tune with another human being is nothing short of absolutely exhilarating.  

The Blind Men and an Elephant

 Almost daily I witness people of faith, science, and varying philosophy, wrestle over their seemingly contradictory worldviews and beliefs.  I'm convinced it's counterproductive, and actually hinders us all from truly embracing that in which we truly seek. There is an old Indian story, told in different variations, with a powerful message, called 'The Blind Man and the Elephant.'  I believe it holds great Wisdom for the day.  

The story:

"In various versions of the tale, a group of blind men (or men in the dark) touch an elephant to learn what it is like. Each one feels a different part, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then compare notes and learn that they are in complete disagreement.

The stories differ primarily in how the elephant's body parts are described, how violent the conflict becomes and how (or if) the conflict among the men and their perspectives is resolved.

In some versions, they stop talking, start listening and collaborate to "see" the full elephant. When a sighted man walks by and sees the entire elephant all at once, they also learn they are blind. While one's subjective experience is true, it may not be the totality of truth. If the sighted man was deaf, he would not hear the elephant bellow. Denying something you cannot perceive ends up becoming an argument for your limitations."  (Summary taken from Wikipedia)

Buddha said:
O how they cling and wrangle, some who claim
For preacher and monk the honored name!
For, quarreling, each to his view they cling.
Such folk see only one side of a thing.

All of us cling to some truth, as we should, but none of us have the right to claim it's the only truth, or somehow superior truth.  No matter how learned, enlightened, or 'lucky' we think we are, there is a pressing need for us to accept the fact that we are all still so - so - limited.   Yes, hold tight to what you know is true.  Do!  Love it - embrace it - celebrate it!  But as you do, be careful of judging, or negating, what another holds sacred. As well, accept that the understanding around your truth is likely flawed.  And, in light of this reality, stay humble!  We can all be so right, and yet, so wrong.  Learn from each other; find common ground; seek better vision - yet always use caution in having an elitist perspective and attitude.   

We are all on a journey, and in many senses, a blind one.  What a wonderful world it would be if we could unite our vision and embrace the 'elephant' in a whole new way;  if our different personalities, histories, perspectives, and ways of  reasoning were not seen as a threat, but instead, a blessing to be had and learned from!  How much better we could 'see!'  Yes?  Yes!  That is my prayer, anyhow.   Peace and Love. 

 "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."  1 Corinthians 13:12

Evaporating Me

Did you know that at night, while you sleep, you lose around 2 lbs in water?  Yes indeed.  Actually it's the reason why dieters always weigh-in first thing in the morning, when the scale is sure to give the lowest number.   Think about it,we lay in our beds at night, like a slab of meat, literally evaporating out of every pore, at every breath, while taking in no fluids.  Two lbs worth of moisture lost!  Click for more information

What a concept, really, the idea that at night, when we succumb to our needed slumber, we lose a significant  amount of ourselves.  We go into a physical deficit every night.  Thankfully we wake up, seize the day, and replenish our fluids.  Well, if we didn't, we would be in big trouble.

Isn't that much like life?  Ever have times when you feel like your energy is evaporating into the world with little return?  You're sending all your good 'juju' out, and not getting much back.  I've been there.  Car breaks, a friend betrays you, sicknesses comes, death snatches someone you love, your world appears to crumble around you.  Hope seems dim; that tunnel too dark.   At these times, much like night, it seems dark and lonely.   It's easy to get fearful and discouraged.  But, much like sleep, dawn is sure to come.   Balance is the natural order of things.

Or, as Victor Hugo put in my beloved Les Misérable,  "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise."   

There will be times of replenishing, just look to the horizon, have faith, and be ready to drink up.  





There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven - Ecclesiastes 3:1 

Daydreamer

Careful little dreamer

Focus long and hard

Of distant lands

Beneath the sands

Where dragons come and go

Slow down little thinker

Ponder nice and slow

The mysterious

         The super-serious 

              Let the questions flow

                                                                                  Look close rainbow-reacher

    At all your heart can stir

The Good nature   

                                                                                                 The wild creature

                                                                                                        The 'he' and the 'her'

                                                                          

                                                                                   Keep on daydreamer

                                                                                   Grasp tight, don't let go

                                                                                            Follow the thoughts

                                                                                                    Connect the dots

                                                                                                          As if..

                                                                                                      Your journey 

                                                                                                                depends 

                                                                                                                              so