When I captured the perfect sky, for the very first time, I saw it; where I found love, beyond understanding, I felt it; in the eyes of creatures and in the smiles of children I have known it. There is something beautiful beyond description.
Science will gaze upon the stars and reach down into the depths. We search for the edges: uncover the largeness in the small; the endless in the vast. Heads shake, hearts race, and with all the faculties of reason we know: There is something beautiful beyond description.
Religion, with all their holy books, find rapport with ancient souls. In stories that speak of justice, valor, love and hope, the masses find themselves smitten. They catch the scent, and filled with awe, dare to name (and can we blame them?) something beautiful beyond description.
Language, for all its good, has fallen short for us poor souls. We have staked claims, butted heads, killed, and died, ALL for the noble act..
of defining
while narrowing
capturing
yet limiting
knowing
but not trusting
..something so beautiful. SO beautiful. And yet, so beyond description.
"I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread bread bread!
He wrapped it up in a 5 lb bag and this is what he said said said!"
(There are multiple variations to the rest..)
Song rhymes were like a religion for me from the ages of 6-8, and mostly performed with my favorite clap-partner, and cousin, Laura. We knew each other and we were in tune. There were a couple other rhymes we would clap, but this one was definitely our favorite. Whether we were on the bus, at lunch, or in the playground we were showing off our speed and precision to words which, really, were complete silliness. And. we. LOVED it.
Tonight I found myself teaching my 5-year-old daughter Mallory the basics of the clap -- the repeated three hand positions. The first parallel hand position is tricky, but she started getting it after a few minutes. Before long she had all three so I threw in the rhyme! As we got going, suddenly I relived the feeling that went along with clapping.. and I was giddy! Once I started speeding up, even though Mallory couldn't keep up, we both ended up throwing our heads back and giggling. So much fun.
As I sat afterward, I couldn't help but reflect on how similar relationships are to this childhood ritual of mine. It's easy to see the comparison when you think of the dance that comes with a good partner. Like clapping with Laura there is a THRILL in the moment of being in tune and connected. Back in the day, it wasn't just the silliness of the song that made us smile, but the knowing each other; predicting each other. It was in the challenge of pushing the pace, and testing our limits. We could accommodate to each other's weakness, and highlight our individual strength. It was exhilarating to get going so fast that others would stop and watch. We.Were.Good.
How had we gotten so good? Well, perhaps there was a compatibility factor in our disposition, skill, and personality. I'm sure those things were key. And then there was the obvious (but essential) willingness factor. If you don't want to clap, it ain't gonna happen! But mostly, I have to believe, it's because we put the time and effort in. When it came to clapping we knew each other. And I follow the motto: anything worth doing, is worth doing right! A fully-developed relationship is so much like that. Yes indeed a certain amount of compatibility is important, and you definitely have to be willing and wanting. But you also have to get through that awkward beginning -- when your claps aren't quite on target, even if well-intended. You're clumsy. Forgetful. At moments, maybe frustrated and discouraged. It takes time and effort to get to the point where it's seamless; when the dance becomes easy and natural. You have to be patient, and merciful. You have to be hopeful and trusting of the process. You have to believe in the dance. But, before you know it, you find yourself singing a tad louder one day, because you sense your partner needs the lift. You find yourselves challenging and encouraging each other to sing new songs and to push new limits. You wake up and realize, you're in tune. The rhyme and rhythm has become second nature. And the intimacy of being in tune with another human being is nothing short of absolutely exhilarating.
Almost daily I witness people of faith, science, and varying philosophy, wrestle over their seemingly contradictory worldviews and beliefs. I'm convinced it's counterproductive, and actually hinders us all from truly embracing that in which we truly seek. There is an old Indian story, told in different variations, with a powerful message, called 'The Blind Man and the Elephant.' I believe it holds great Wisdom for the day.
The story:
"In various versions of the tale, a group of blind men (or men in the dark) touch an elephant to learn what it is like. Each one feels a different part, but only one part, such as the side or the tusk. They then compare notes and learn that they are in complete disagreement. The stories differ primarily in how the elephant's body parts are described, how violent the conflict becomes and how (or if) the conflict among the men and their perspectives is resolved. In some versions, they stop talking, start listening and collaborate to "see" the full elephant. When a sighted man walks by and sees the entire elephant all at once, they also learn they are blind. While one's subjective experience is true, it may not be the totality of truth. If the sighted man was deaf, he would not hear the elephant bellow. Denying something you cannot perceive ends up becoming an argument for your limitations." (Summary taken from Wikipedia) Buddha said: O how they cling and wrangle, some who claim For preacher and monk the honored name! For, quarreling, each to his view they cling. Such folk see only one side of a thing. All of us cling to some truth, as we should, but none of us have the right to claim it's the only truth, or somehow superior truth. No matter how learned, enlightened, or 'lucky' we think we are, there is a pressing need for us to accept the fact that we are all still so - so - limited. Yes, hold tight to what you know is true. Do! Love it - embrace it - celebrate it! But as you do, be careful of judging, or negating, what another holds sacred. As well, accept that the understanding around your truth is likely flawed. And, in light of this reality, stay humble! We can all be so right, and yet, so wrong. Learn from each other; find common ground; seek better vision - yet always use caution in having an elitist perspective and attitude. We are all on a journey, and in many senses, a blind one. What a wonderful world it would be if we could unite our vision and embrace the 'elephant' in a whole new way; if our different personalities, histories, perspectives, and ways of reasoning were not seen as a threat, but instead, a blessing to be had and learned from! How much better we could 'see!' Yes? Yes! That is my prayer, anyhow. Peace and Love.
"For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known."1 Corinthians 13:12
Did you know that at night, while you sleep, you lose around 2 lbs in water? Yes indeed. Actually it's the reason why dieters always weigh-in first thing in the morning, when the scale is sure to give the lowest number. Think about it,we lay in our beds at night, like a slab of meat, literally evaporating out of every pore, at every breath, while taking in no fluids. Two lbs worth of moisture lost! Click for more information
What a concept, really, the idea that at night, when we succumb to our needed slumber, we lose a significant amount of ourselves. We go into a physical deficit every night. Thankfully we wake up, seize the day, and replenish our fluids. Well, if we didn't, we would be in big trouble.
Isn't that much like life? Ever have times when you feel like your energy is evaporating into the world with little return? You're sending all your good 'juju' out, and not getting much back. I've been there. Car breaks, a friend betrays you, sicknesses comes, death snatches someone you love, your world appears to crumble around you. Hope seems dim; that tunnel too dark. At these times, much like night, it seems dark and lonely. It's easy to get fearful and discouraged. But, much like sleep, dawn is sure to come. Balance is the natural order of things.
Or, as Victor Hugo put in my beloved Les Misérable, "Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise." There will be times of replenishing, just look to the horizon, have faith, and be ready to drink up.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven - Ecclesiastes 3:1
Don't apologize for that smile child When critics chirp, as they do And green eyes look for lies No shame is found in what is pure Shine on sweetheart, shine Don't give away your pride child When hunger aches, as it will For things not in good time Plant feet on grounds of worth Stand strong, baby, strong Don't lose your inner peace child When heartache comes, as it does And shadows haunt your thoughts A tiny flame lies deep beneath Search, angel, search Don't put limits on your love child When the world seems cold, as it will For a secret I have found.. By how you give it, you will live So burn bright, my love, burn bright!
My skeptic brothers My kindred sisters My searching friends My brilliant resistors You all have goodness I've seen it Witnessed it Felt it If I may dare If you will allow I want to share my heart And show you how Of how I see your goodness in around before and surrounding you
I see your Goodness I see the Good.
The only difference between you, and me (I could be wrong, I know) Is I see Good with a capital G And occasionally ... I drop the extra 'o'
I don't know about you, but I have been really cold this Winter. My toes have been ice cubes since Halloween (no joke). You would think, being a New Yorker all my life, I would be used to it. Nope. In fact it might be getting worse. Most days I'm a sight for sore eyes: heavy wool socks, indoor scarf, sweater, and a lap blanket. I have difficulties getting warm and staying warm.
Can you guess a part of my problem? Yep, I'm trying to warm myself up from the outside-in when I should be getting warm from the inside-out.
How so? Well, like a well-oiled machine, if we put the right ingredients in, and fire it up, heat is produced. Actually, if we are alive our engine is already fired up and we just need to adjust the thermostat! How does that look in real time? Well, when I push myself to exert extra energy, whether hiking outside, dancing with the kids, or fast-paced housework, my heat-making engine kicks in. It's just how metabolism works. I get warm, and I stay warm. Well, for a few hours.
Isn't that true about life as well? When we look for external 'stuff' to make us happy, whether it's careers, relationships, goals, events, money, popularity, etc it's like we are trying to warm up from the outside-in. The problem is that heat is not sustaining. Happiness achieved from external stimuli is often fleeting. It's difficult to get there and stay there. So, do we just keep chasing the next thing, and the next thing, and next thing? (silly Wabbit) We just weren't made to work that way. Sure, all those things can be a cause of happiness but true, sustaining-joyful-energy, needs to come from the inside-out.
What's that look like?
I think the secret can be seen in children. Specifically, how they easily see the world with awe and wonder. I think the better secret is we are ALL still children, if we choose to be. We can still see the world with awe and wonder, if we want to.
Don't you find it funny how casually we use the words 'awesome' and 'wonderful'? For such BIG concepts?! Even the words themselves, 'awe and wonder' are too little to convey such a powerful emotion. Even describing it as an emotion is inadequate (sorry Webster). And yet, that is really where it's at in life.
Consider the last time you were caught by something that grabbed your attention and captured your senses: Maybe a beautiful mountain scene, with vibrant colors, crisp fresh air, and birds singing; a sleeping baby in your arms, soft and warm, angelic and sweet; a glass of cold water in a moment of being parched--eyes closed, head back, cold clean heaven running down your throat, quenching your thirst.
A laugh with a friend where your belly hurts, your eyes water, and your hearts whisper 'thank you.'
Life was made to be lived intensely. Not haphazardly, but with all cards in. With complete abandonment. Lately I've been focusing on mindfulness and being present completely in my moments; absorbing the sights, the sounds, the emotions, and the miracles all around us.
And when I do I find my heart saying 'Thank you' more and more. And I'm suddenly warm from the inside out.
I found you there. Where will your voice be caught, dear friend? In haunting hymns Holy Nights, now harmonized with tears. I hear you there. Where will your shadow rest, lost friend? In memories hid deep Lovers born in rain, soaked now in broken dreams I find you there. Where will I cherish you still, gone friend? In two little hearts and faces Who call me mommy, and you their daddy. Where our love never failed. I'll see you there.
How often do we just sit and play with our kids? Not just supervise, but actually stop what we are doing, invest our full attention span, and play? I'm guessing we all could do it more. (I know I can.)
This morning during bath time with my kiddos (Lucas age 3, Mallory age 4) we had full-on, soap opera drama. Ariel was marrying Spider-man, even though Rapunzel was jealous and hurt, monster truck was too rough and made Rapunzel cry, and Pony was just learning how to swim. You know what was the best part of the whole theatrical creation? The opportunity for lessons. With some gentle guidance I managed to get them to practice conflict resolution (Rapunzel is now handling the wedding well, friendships intact), demonstrate compassion and forgiveness (Monster truck apology), and Pony learned with some practice and patience, she would soon be diving in deep waters. Perhaps they were custom made lessons, just for my children. Sibling rivalry has been pretty intense lately.
You might wonder why I chose to write about this on a blog I designate for my awakenings. To put it simply, I believe that my role as a mother is a sacred responsibility. I help form, shape, and guide their moral beliefs in life; an intimidating task, yet what an awesome privilege! There is no other role I cherish more. Proverbs 22:6 says 'Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.' I am trusting that my lessons, particularly from my own example, of things like love, compassion, forgiveness, patience, and all the jewels of our good humanity, will be enough to keep them on a path of wholeness. That it will win over all the competing influences in life, and battles forged in the soul.
I pray for their hearts to stay tender. I pray that I honor my sacred responsibility as a mother. I pray for all the mothers and fathers in this world, specifically that they would embrace the spiritual leadership role in their children's lives. Their future is counting on it.
"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man(woman), I did away with childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11
How is love viewed as a child? When I reflect upon my own childhood, as well as observe my little ones, it becomes apparent to me that love is seen differently through their small eyes and sweet hearts. In fact, it is experienced, seen, and given uniquely. As children we see the concept of love as a place (I'm in love), or an expression of affection (I love my puppy!). It is a thing of fairy tales. An entity of affection and care. An aura. A mystical endeavor. As a child, love is a noun.
But as we mature, love starts to unravel. It becomes more complicated, more cumbersome. Love starts evolving. Slowly, and sometime painfully, we learn that love is a minute by minute choice. Love is action. It is the deciding to be present, when we want to be absent It is the accepting, when we would rather shut out It is in the giving, when we would rather keep It's contentment, when we want to expect It is in the grace, when we want to condemn Love is in... Moments of mercy Buried axes Mended bridges Tested wills
It is in the you, instead of the me. Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18
I came across this post this morning, as I was scrolling through my Facebook, and my immediate response was...
OUCH. Super offensive.
Where do they get off?
Response from the masses: And then I watched as 4 hours passed, over 3,000 people hit 'like', and hundreds were writing comments. They seemed almost eager to bash, vent, and give their 2 cents. There were valid points being made, and foolish ones being shouted.
Too many people make surface judgments on religion without ever risking a thorough examination, or subjecting themselves to spiritual experiences. They criticize from the outside, in. To those individuals, I plead for you to take another/better look. Discover all the good that does get done in the name of religion. I challenge you to read the Holy Books, holy writings, study the heritages of our ancestors, read about the lives of all the prophets, put all the puzzle pieces together before you determine what's nonsense. We only have this one life, seize it. Wrestle with it. Start asking the big questions. but carrying on to the disconnection issue...
WHY IT'S NOT TRUE: It's not true within religion. I can vouch for this myself. Being a christian for 13 years, and a pastor for 5, I was immersed in the 'body of Christ.' It might be a sweeping generalization, but people within religion are strongly connected, having bonds and brotherhood/sisterhood unique to them. It is something beautiful, and divine. I have shared tears and prayers with friends, where I knew God was in our midst. I have felt connection in worship where I felt like our very presence was glowing. There is unity within true believers of God, that I am convinced. But the image hit a nerve for another reason. Where it can be true: Sadly, religion has also caused disconnectedness. Regardless where the fault lay, many individuals are growing animosity towards the religious. And, if we look in all directions, can we blame them? Wars fought, and lives have been ruined in it's name. Condemnation, and persecution, not only done, but defended over the years! Great sins have been committed. That is a given. Religion is a very powerful vessel for God, but when working within the human race it is naturally flawed. Because we are flawed. (Not God) One source of disconnectedness comes unintentionally. I apologize for the sweeping generalization, but the religious can tend to alienate themselves by creating their own cultures. And for lots of different reason, hardly malicious. It's human to bond to those who we share common beliefs and passions with. (I crave like-minded people all the time!) Yet, it does come with the cost of creating walls; walls that need not be formed.
The other struggle comes with religion's relationship with dogma/doctrine and it trumping all else. Christianity, in particular, has a reputation of scaring people away with 'hell fire and brimstone' theology. People hear 'only one way' claims followed by scare tactics, and it doesn't sit well within them. Should it? Is that the intro speech God would make as the compelling reason to choose him? And do we even know enough about such things, as the exact ramifications of judgement, to make such damning claims? My personal opinion? The interpretation of God's word should never reign supreme over His word itself. Interpretation, when formed into doctrine, eliminates the chances of other explanations to scripture, while also limiting the possibility of God showing himself in new ways. The ten commandments were written on stone, not church doctrine. Remember, we are fallible beings working with limited information here. Do we really want to solidify the details so rock solid? Do we really want to, ultimately, characterize God in a light that seems unfitting to so many?
God is inclusive. He is Holy, He is Just, and His Love reigns supreme. He is beckoning for our presence, longing for us to get our hearts right. Our God is inclusive. You bet your bananas on it. But if we go to religion, knowing in our hearts who God is, and are presented doctrine/opinion that goes against our guts about His ways, where do we go? Do we say, 'Next' and move on to the next church or religion? Do we KEEP on making more denominations, more churches, more sets of beliefs? Or, do we decide to change the framework? Strip away the interpretation, the inserting of opinion alongside the word of God, and respect the the way the Spirit moves through it AND us. If we differ on interpretation, so be it. Can't we trust God to work it out? If we approach it all with fruits of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control), can't we trust that the Spirit of God can do the rest? Perhaps a spiritual movement is on the way. And maybe, we need not to get so frazzled over it. Maybe we could just let God work in His mysterious ways, through faiths of all kind. To keep all things sacred, like my love of Jesus, and yet not be nailed to any doctrine that contradicts the character of God; to respect the Spirit of God, in us and scripture, knowing that both could be fallible and yet both could be sacred truth. Or, maybe I'm just a dreamer. But, I know I'm not the only one.
This Christmas, I had a special moment with my son, and it's left me thinking since.
We decided to cuddle and watch a movie together in my mom's bedroom, since festivities were still going on in the living room, and it was getting late. As Lucas came into the cuddle circle, looked at his sister and I, he said with crazy joy 'mommy, we all together! WE a puzzle, and we all together!' Such a simple observation, and yet so profound. Could it be, as a 3 year old child, he is more in tune to our connectedness? That he sees us as parts that connect to make a bigger picture? Maybe. Or, maybe he just really likes puzzles.
Whether you call it energy, or spirituality, the basic building blocks of our matter is connected in a very real way, even defying laws of nature (check out some atomic science). Many of us claim to feel a strong connection to loved ones during sickness, struggle, death, and even times of great joy. Look at the mysterious connections between twins, or the phenomenon that occurs with some men who have 'sympathy pregnancies' when wives are pregnant, even being known to cause male lactation! Women have been known to 'sync' their menstrual timing with other women whom they spend large quantities of time with. Maybe it can be credited to hormones, or the power of pheromones, but regardless, I sense there is a link that goes beyond the limitations of brain psychology, or intellectual understanding.
With this in mind, perhaps we really are all brothers and sisters. Maybe, together, we complete a bigger picture. And, perhaps, this 'oneness' with each other, has far more implications than what we can wrap our brains around.
Do we have a responsibility towards each other? To our neighbors, our children, our facebook friends, or to the hungry babies in Africa? I think so. I think it matters how my life, my choices, and my behavior impacts others.
